5 Solid Reasons Practical Parenting is My Preferred Style
Practical Parenting, My Preferred Routine Style
My parenting style was not always practical. Back in the day, when my now children were babies and toddlers, my parenting method was a combination of “overwhelmed/fly by the seat of my pants.” That was largely due to having four children under three—on second thought, that parenting style was insanity.
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Adding four more kids to the mix—insanity didn’t even apply at this point—I eventually did get into a much more stable parenting groove thanks to my gifts of patience, realistic expectations, a good sense of humor, and a steady supply of chocolate and occasionally wine.
Now, if I have to label my parenting style, I’d say I’m practical.
Up the Joy/Lower the Stress
Here are five examples of my parenting style:
Tip 1: Letting My Kids Know They are Good Enough Builds Self-Esteem
Here’s the thing—no one is perfect, I know I’m certainly not, but how I tell one of my children how she did or didn’t do something right is crucial to building her self-esteem. For example, our home is not always neat in a household as busy as ours. So when my seven-year-old attempts to clean her room, I praise her for the job she did; I don’t criticize about the toys she didn’t put away. I love to see the joy on her face when she hears how much I appreciate her efforts.
Tip 2: Empowering Children with Two Choices K
In March, the temps aren’t quite balmy yet, but my eight-year-old son wants nothing to do with wearing a warm outfit. I’m happy to offer him two choices: shorts, a long-sleeved tee, and a jacket OR sweat pants and a heavy sweatshirt with a hat. He can decide, but then we’re done and moving on to breakfast, where he will get to choose cereal or waffles—lowering the stress for both situations!
Bonus tip: Let the Closet Do the Talking Prevents Arguments
Most kids love picking out their own outfits for school. Make seasonal transitions easier on everyone by moving out-of-season clothes toward the back of the closet and move more appropriate school choices front and center—saving time and avoiding drama.
Tip 3: Teaching Them How to Care for Themselves
I didn’t realize it at the time, but my mother did my siblings and me a great service by teaching us how to cook, make our beds, do loads of laundry, and balance a checkbook when we were growing up.
When I show my kids a necessary life skill, I am completely fine with ignoring their pleas such as “my friend doesn’t have to do this,” while pointing out that the food they love will be served for dinner, the clothes they need will always be ready to wear. Their purchases can be made without an overdraft if they do it themselves. My practical side wants them all to have the basics before graduating high school. They will thank me later!
Tip 4: Apologizing When I Mess Up
Not many of us like to admit it when we’re wrong, but I think it’s important to do so, especially to a loved one. I apologize to my kids on a regular basis when warranted; I keep it simple. “Wow, I’m so sorry I was late picking you up because I was on the phone with my friend. Your time is just as important as mine is. I will definitely be aware of this when I’m scheduled to get you at soccer this Saturday.”
Tip 5: Giving Details When I Praise
We all love to get compliments, but doling out insincere praise can be damaging. When admiring the art project my fifth grader can’t wait to show me, I try to find something specific to comment on rather than droning on about him being the next Picasso. “The way you used the combination of orange and yellow really makes me feel the warmth from your sun in that painting. What awesome attention to detail.”
Revel in Your Successes
The amazing part about parenting is that you get to be such an instrumental part in shaping another human being’s life. The scary part is trying to get it right no matter your parenting style. Thankfully kids are resilient and usually quite forgiving. I thank all eight of mine for the privilege of being their mom—the most important job ever!
Bonus Tip:
All parents should keep a hidden supply of their favorite treats (bath and beauty items, chocolates, wine, etc.) to celebrate every parental win!
