8 Practical Ways to Build Your Toddlers Confidence
Your little one is ready to take on the world. Here are eight practical ways to build your toddler’s confidence so he/she can boldly explore their surroundings!
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At one point, I had four babies and toddlers in diapers all at once. Raising so many kids close in age was a total whirlwind, and there were many days that were a total blur.
But even among the daily chaos, I did strive to instill confidence in my kids at a young age so they would, hopefully, grow into well-rounded older kids with a secure sense of self.
Here are eight practical ways to build your toddler’s confidence:
- Be a Positive Role Model
- Teach the Magic Words
- Establish Good Communication Skills
- Teaching Emotions Can Build Your Toddlers Confidence
- Make Free Time a Priority For Your Toddler
- Be Realistic with Praise Early
- Help Your Toddler Visualize the Future
- Keep Laughing
Raise Kids with Confidence
Well-known pediatrician Dr. William Sears raised eight children of his own as well as practiced pediatrics for over 30 years. In his article “12 Ways to Raise a Confident Child,” he writes, “Self-esteem is your child’s passport to a lifetime of mental health and social happiness. It’s the foundation of a child’s well-being and the key to success as an adult.”
As a writer, columnist, professional fundraiser/event coordinator, and mom of eight, here is how I instilled confidence in my kids:
Tip 1: Be a Positive Role Model
Toddlers and young children are like little sponges. They soak up everything they hear their parents and caregivers saying, even when you least suspect they are paying attention.
Negative self-talk doesn’t offer any benefit to your children or to yourself. Whatever you model, your child will soak it in and most likely emulate it.
For example, ever catch yourself saying something disparaging aloud like this: “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer to thaw for dinner. It’s all my fault that dinner will be so late tonight”?
Instead of making critical comments about some mistake, turn it around with positive self-talk instead. “Well, I forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer this morning, but I did have a chance to sit and have a nice breakfast with you kids instead, so tonight, we’ll grab a pizza or something.”
– CanCan Mom, Cheryl L. Butler
Parents generally set the tone for the atmosphere in their homes. If you tend to be stressed out and cranky by nature, that will only ripple down to your children.
If your children interact with a calm and steady mom and dad, this shows them you are enjoying life. It also makes them feel more joyful, which builds self-esteem and self-confidence.
Tip 2: Teach the Magic Words
Confident kids are also well-mannered and polite kids. “Please” and “Thank you” are the magic words. When your kids observe you using them at any given opportunity, they are sure to follow suit. Other phrases to teach are “May I,” “Excuse me,” “No, thank you,” and “You’re welcome.”
Children often learn from observing your actions while you’re unaware they’re doing so. How you behave while stuck in a long line at the check-out counter or when running into a neighbor you aren’t particularly fond of can lay a positive or negative foundation in your children. Take the high road and model control and politeness, not frustration and pettiness.
Tip 3: Establish Good Communication Skills
Establishing strong communication skills is one of the key elements to laying a strong foundation for your child’s future.
One way to do this is to let younger kids speak for themselves as often as possible without intervening or speaking for them. When a question is asked of them, even when they are young, let them take the lead.
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For example, if an adult from church or school asks your three-year-old how they like having a new sibling, don’t jump in and say something like, “Henry, you love having a baby sister, don’t you? She’s so cute, right?” Instead, let him be as honest as he needs to be: “My baby sister cries too much.” He’s being allowed to express himself—and you might learn some surprising things. Of course, you can talk to him alone afterward if he says something inappropriate or that needs to be followed up for clarification.
In addition, let your kids do things like order their own meals at a restaurant. The more opportunities they have to communicate with other adults and children, the better. They learn they have their own voice, opinions, and preferences.
Tip 4: Teaching Emotions Can Build Your Toddlers Confidence
According to Ross Flom, an associate professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, developing emotional intelligence is important for your toddler’s cognitive and social development. Teaching your toddler to read emotional cues is an imperative skill that can help.
When our young kids learn to understand emotions, it helps them build empathy, among other strong traits.
There are endless opportunities throughout the day to help them understand what they are feeling. It starts with you modeling the words.
For instance, if your toddler is playing with another child on the playground and his new playmate is running too fast and bumps into him by mistake, you can say something simple like, “Oh no, that was just an accident. He wasn’t being mean.”
If your toddler throws a ball to your dog, and Rover wags his tail excitedly and fetches it, you can say, “You just made Rover so happy by playing with him.”
Taking the time to label emotions with your toddler will help him feel connected. You’ll be laying the groundwork for an empathetic and confident child and, eventually, a young adult.
Tip 5: Make Free Time a Priority For Your Toddler
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children get enough exercise and also have an hour per day to unwind, relax, and have some simple creative playtime.
Start young and teach your children the importance of free time. It’s a gift that they will hopefully take with them into adulthood.
Give your growing toddler and young tykes as much unstructured play time as possible. Kids learn social skills through playing games. They can let their imaginations soar with pretend play time and simple daydreaming.
It’s our job as parents to ensure that they get enough downtime to sustain the commitments and activities that fill most of our calendars throughout the year.
For older kids, this unstructured time means unplugging and taking a break from all of today’s technology.
Tip 6: Be Realistic with Praise Early
It’s normal to want to praise your child for all of her accomplishments—small and large. Whether it be praising them for a drawing, a strong kick with the soccer ball, or an itty bitty role in the school play, it’s not unusual to be a bit over-exuberant because you want your kid to know he or she is the best there is.
We don’t want to be too over the top so that our compliments and praise don’t sound genuine.
– CanCan Mom, Cheryl L. Butler
It’s unnecessary to heap praise for something she’s supposed to do, like brushing her teeth or feeding the cat.
This also applies to a situation that involves you being worried about something your child is doing. For example, if your child is learning to climb up the large set of stairs on the playground slide, don’t carry on about how worried you are about him as he makes the big climb. Instead, stand by so you can make sure he’s taking the steps as safely as he can and proudly watch him get to the top step. Once he achieves this, you can say something like, “Terrific job. I knew you could do it.”
Tip 7: Help them Visualize the Future
We all have access to a very powerful tool that can help shape a positive outlook on life—the power of visualization. Daily visualizing your dreams and goals as already attained can rapidly accelerate your achievement of those dreams, goals, and ambitions.
Maybe your young daughter loves caring for her stuffed animals and dolls. You could say, “You really are so caring, and it’s obvious you like to make your Teddy Bear and your dolls feel better when they are sick. Can you picture yourself as a doctor or nurse someday?”
Maybe she doesn’t want to be a doctor but instead says, “I want to be a mommy and take care of my own kids when I get older.” Regardless of her dreams, focus on the fact that she is thinking of some goals and go from there.
If kids can envision themselves doing something important or fulfilling when they grow up, they are bound to feel more confident now. Take advantage of any one-on-one time you spend with your young child, helping him visualize a career or talent he might like to see come to fruition.
We used to do this instead of bedtime stories many nights. It made my kids feel excited and hopeful about the future. This also got them asking questions about different careers and artistic talents.
Tip 8: Keep Laughing
Simple humor can often diffuse a tense situation and turn something negative around in seconds. If our toddler sees us handling chaos and stressful moments with humor, we’re teaching them that laughing is an important tool to help us through the good and bad times.
So, have a sense of humor about yourself. Young kids and teens are drawn to parents who don’t take themselves too seriously—and this way, they can learn how to have a sense of humor about themselves as well.
You might also enjoy 6 Positive Ways to Handle a Defiant Toddler
How do you instill confidence in your young children? For all kinds of mom-centered creative ideas, visit me on Instagram at CanCanMomCB or on Pinterest at theCanCanMom. If you have questions or suggestions, email me at cheryl@cancanmom.com or leave a comment in the box below.
