10 Ways To Help Your Child Adjust To Moving To A New Home
Changing homes, schools, and friends is stressful. Make the move less traumatic—even fun—with ten quick tips for your family.
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Moving is stressful for everyone, especially children who have no control over the decision. Here are ten tips to help your kids cope:
- Acknowledge Your Children’s Feelings
- Give a Timeline
- Involve Your Children as Soon as Possible
- Create a Positive Introduction
- Visit New Schools Ahead of Time
- Give Your Kids Their Own Moving Boxes
- Getting Comfortable in a New Home
- Maintain Daily Routines
- Reach Out to Your New Neighbors
- Celebrate New Beginnings
On the Move
You’re packing your bags, excited about moving to your new home. But whether it’s in a nearby town, across the country, around the world, or just a few blocks away, moving can be a very difficult transition for children as changing homes, schools, and friends is stressful.
Tip 1: Acknowledge Your Children’s Feelings
Some kids are very quiet and laid back and won’t share their true feelings about how the move is affecting them.
Be patient with your kids and try and empathize with their feelings. Make comments when appropriate, such as “You must be feeling lonely and missing your friends from Girl Scouts.”
Acknowledge that the transition is tough for everyone and that you feel the challenge, too. “Dad and I know it’s not easy making new friends—we’re in the same boat. It’s going to get easier over time, but it’s okay to feel a little sad and lonely right now. Your family is here for you now, and soon, you’ll have new friends and new activities that you are going to love.”
– CanCan Mom, Cheryl L. Butler
Let them know that adjusting to a new home, school, and friends doesn’t happen overnight and that it may take a bit of time.
By acknowledging this, you aren’t squashing the real feelings that they are struggling with—you are validating them, and this can be a source of comfort.
Tip 2: Give a Timeline
Explain the move step-by-step, tailored to your child’s developmental level.
Younger kids have shorter attention spans, so don’t offer too many details at once.
Older kids want specifics: Where are we moving to? How are we getting there? When are we moving? What does the new house look like? When do I start school?
You and your spouse/partner should provide as many details as requested.
Tip 3: Involve Your Children as Soon as Possible
Try to get the children involved in the move as early as possible by giving them age-appropriate responsibilities to help them have a sense of control over the situation.
– CanCan Mom, Cheryl L. Butler
If you’re still in the house hunting phase, ask them if they would like a home with a backyard similar to the one they have now or if they would rather have more space inside their new house where they can have secret hideouts or bigger bedrooms.
If you have teens, take them with you to look at your top choices to show them that their opinion matters and that they have a say in their new home.
These may seem like trivial matters, but to a child, being involved in the move early on will make them feel more secure and even excited about the prospect of relocating.
Tip 4: Create a Positive Introduction
The key here is to have a place and people for your kids to move “to” rather than making them feel that they are moving “away” from their current familiar situation.
Once you’ve chosen your new home (but before you move), take your children to visit their new home and neighborhood, as well as see the other special places like the daycare, grocery store, playground, library, and other fun spots they might be visiting on a regular basis.
If you can arrange ahead of time for them to meet one or two families in the neighborhood, even better!
If you are involved in a religion at your present home, check out some spiritual places before you move. Take your child to a service there as soon after the move as possible.
Tip 5: Visit New Schools Ahead of Time
If possible, try to visit the school and your child’s classroom during non-school time so you can both become a bit familiar with the new building, atmosphere, rules, etc.
If your child can meet with his new teacher before school starts, it would provide an opportunity for the teacher to spend a little time welcoming him to his new school and gush about all its great qualities such as the big playground they’ll use during recess or the new computers in each classroom.
A little bit of quality time in school can alleviate your child’s anxiety.
Tip 6: Give Your Kids Their Own Moving Boxes
It’s important for children to feel the move is something that the family is doing together, not something that is being forced upon them. Involving them in as many positive ways as possible will let them know that they are being included and can perhaps lessen the blow of the move.
Communicate with them often that this move belongs to the entire family, not just to Mom and Dad.
One way to do this is to give them one or two of their own moving boxes. Make sure it is a manageable size that they can carry themselves. You can let them decorate their own boxes and let them label them with their own names, signifying that the contents in these boxes will be their own special things—objects that they will be in charge of packing and moving by themselves.
Suggest they include a favorite toy, a cozy blankie, pictures of their best friends, etc. Then, let the children carry their boxes out of the old house and into the new one. These boxes remain with the children throughout the actual relocation from one home to the other. Some children keep these boxes for many years afterward.
Tip 7: Getting Comfortable in a New Home
Let your children spend some time making friends with the new house. When you feel they are starting to get comfortable there, play Hide and Seek to discover its best hiding spots together.
During the first few weeks, spend time walking through the neighborhood with the children. Get to know what and who is where. Help the children draw a simple map of the street you live on and write in for them the names of the neighbors and household pets you meet.
– CanCan Mom, Cheryl L. Butler
This “grounding time” will help them develop a relationship with the new place and the families that live there. Keep looking for opportunities to remind them that they belong with you, in your family, no matter where you live.
Tip 8: Maintain Daily Routines
Routines are very comforting to children (young and old!). Once you make the move to a new home, even if it’s in the same town, don’t get off track from regular family routines.
If you always serve dinner at 6 pm and then, give the kids baths and then read bedtime stories, stick to this schedule in your new home as well.
The routines that your kids have become accustomed to in their former home are very comforting, and keeping them in the new one will help ease the transition of new bedrooms, new neighborhoods, and new schools.
See Also: 5 Important Ways Routines Will Create Balance in Your Home
Tip 9: Reach Out to Your New Neighbors
The custom of your new neighbors dropping by with a welcoming plate of homemade cookies is certainly a nice one, but why not change it up? Instead of waiting for them—bake your family’s favorite brownies or sweet treats and bring a plate to each of the homes close by your new house.
This gesture not only makes you and your family feel good, but it shows your new neighbors that you are happy to be a part of their neighborhood and could certainly help in building some new friendships for your kids (and you!).
Tip 10: Celebrate New Beginnings
Once you’ve made the move, find a special way or ritual to celebrate your new home.
Plant a tree as a family or stencil a special quote in the new family room that reminds you all of how special your family is, no matter what city you live in now.
Take a photo of all of your family in front of your new home to send to your friends.
Hold a special celebration dinner to say thanks for your family’s new home.
See Also: How to Create Meaningful Traditions For Your Family
Make Yourself at Home
Here are great ways to get acquainted with your new location, strengthen the family bond, and meet others in your new community.
Together make lists of:
- The places you’d like to visit in the near future;
- Some goals you’d like to achieve as a family in your new home;
- A new charity you can all contribute to by donating your time.
Welcome home!
Do you have any tips for preparing your child to move? For all kinds of mom-centered creative ideas, visit me on Instagram at CanCanMomCB or on Pinterest at theCanCanMom. If you have questions or suggestions, email me at cheryl@cancanmom.com or leave a comment in the box below.
