Infertility–My Road to Motherhood Had Eight Incredible On-Ramps
My husband, Brian, and I wanted children quite soon after we got married at the starry-eyed ages of twenty-three and twenty-four. Well, let me clarify: I wanted children that soon. My husband wasn’t in the same rush to change diapers as I was, but he lovingly went along with the plan being the devoted newlywed man he was.
However, after the first two years of waiting and waiting and waiting for Mr. Stork to arrive, it was Brian, not me, who was unbelievably positive each month when we were disappointed. I was too busy living month to month under a dark and gloomy cloud with a focus on what we didn’t have—children—instead of what we did have—each other.
Nearly six years and three miscarriages later, I declared enough was enough, and we entered the world of adoption. My husband’s optimism had finally lifted me to a new place of hope. There was finally no doubt in my mind that we would have a baby to love, nurture, and raise as our own, either through the gift of adoption or the miracle of birth.
Once I had let go of the fear of not being a mother, things began to move in our favor rather rapidly. We found an agency in Colorado that we felt very comfortable with, and we were accepted within just two weeks. Next, we had a very thorough home study. Once that was completed, we were told to be patient as it would be highly unlikely we’d be matched with a birth mother for at least eighteen months.
Guess what?
Just three weeks after our home study was completed, we received a call from our adoption agency that a birth mother due later that week had chosen us! This was the stuff dreams (and movies) were made of—not what a twenty-nine-year-old couple who had two cocker spaniels and a home that was desperately in need of a makeover would’ve ever expected.
One hour before we left for the airport to fly out to Denver, we received a congratulatory call from our adoption agency that our baby girl had been born moments before. It was official—I was finally a mom! Well, almost.
We flew First Class (compliments of the airline) to Colorado and arrived at 1 am Eastern Time. We were exhausted from the travel and the emotional excitement and anxiety that we had been carrying for the past week. However, when we were told we could go to the hospital right away, we rushed over to meet our new baby.
I can remember it like it was yesterday. It was probably the most important and defining moment of my life. I was a mother because another woman who couldn’t care for her baby made the painful and selfless decision to place her for adoption with us—a couple that she had only spoken to on the phone for ten minutes. She trusted us based on our scrapbook of photos and because she said she felt a connection with us when we spoke by phone. Sometimes, I still can’t get my head around that. I often wonder if I could’ve been that brave.
We stayed in Colorado for nearly three weeks while all the paperwork and legal issues were handled. Then, we flew home with our three-week-old baby girl. I was truly a mom.
I gave birth to our son—one year from when we arrived home with our daughter.
That was the beginning of the end—the end of a long, powerful, life-changing six-year bout with infertility. Our family grew from one child to eight. (And yes, in case you’re wondering, eight is definitely enough!) We had been blessed with three daughters and five sons.
See Also: Learn Why Changing Diapers Is Life-changing and Wonderful
Mother’s Day was previously a very empty and painful day for me because it reminded me of a dream I desperately wanted to fulfill. Now, after I finally became a mom, I realize that the long and tiring road I traveled to motherhood was one of the greatest journeys in my life.
Everyone’s path to parenthood is different—some must take detours, and some never reach it at all. I’ve realized my job is never to question how I got here but, instead, to cherish and learn from all the pit stops and crossroads that made my miraculous journey possible.
Mom Ops: Observations, Laughs, and Solutions for a Happier Family Life By Cheryl L. Butler—Chapter 1; Available on Amazon
I wanted to enjoy motherhood and not be overwhelmed. So, I devised creative solutions, routines, and Get-to-Do Lists (as most moms get to do these items) to have more positive daily interactions and fun with my family. These solutions are successfully family-tested, so I share them with all moms on CanCanMom.com.
Have you adopted, or are you considering adoption? For more ideas, visit me on Instagram at CanCanMomCB or on Pinterest at theCanCanMom. If you have questions or suggestions, email me at cheryl@cancanmom.com.