5 Practical Ways To Help Your Child Transition Into Adulthood
Leaving the nest isn’t easy for kids. Here are five practical ways to help your child transition into adulthood.
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Parents look forward to having self-sufficient, productive children who will positively contribute to society. However, with the pandemic and the tough economy, many young adults aren’t as anxious to fly the coop as in years past.
Here are five ways to encourage a positive transition to adulthood:
- Know Your Child’s Capabilities
- Stop Rescuing—Instead Foster Independence
- Encourage Self-advocacy Skills
- Teaching Money Management Skills is a Must to Transition Into Adulthood
- Own Your Part in Their Failure to Launch
Important Life Skills to Teach Your Almost Adult
Tip 1: Know Your Child’s Capabilities
Just because your child graduates from college, celebrates a milestone 21st birthday, or is considering post-high school options doesn’t guarantee their transition into adulthood.
There are dozens of reasons our adult children may not be in any rush to leave their comfy childhood homes. These include Convenience, Finances, Employment, Special Needs, and Cluelessness.
You don’t need to change the locks and hope for the best. You need to come to grips with what is holding your child back. Then, you’ll have a starting point from which to launch him/her toward independence.
Tip 2: Stop Rescuing—Instead Foster Independence
Are you the live-in maid for your older children? Do you run their own errands? Do they help with anything around the house?
If you haven’t already started to do so, now is the time to teach your child the ropes of everyday living—and stop enabling their dependence.
Have a heart-to-heart with your young adult to take an inventory of their adult skills and those they still need to learn. Don’t assume that since they’ve been watching you do laundry their entire life, they magically know how to do it themselves. Same for making dinner, refilling prescriptions, and any other everyday life task you can think of.
Show them how to do whatever you do for them now. Then it’s their turn—and they can help you out now!
– CanCan Mom, Cheryl L. Butler
Tip 3: Encourage Self-advocacy Skills
Learning how to make decisions about your own life and advocate for yourself is vital when living away from home.
Communicating with those in authority positions is a life skill that will help kids understand how to negotiate effectively and get their needs met as they transition into adulthood.
Teach your kids how to have conversations with other adults, particularly teachers, bosses, and other professionals such as physicians, bankers, and pharmacists. Role-playing is a great way to practice this essential skill.
I constantly look for opportunities for my older kids to engage with other adults. Even tasks like placing an order at the deli or checking themselves in at a doctor’s appointment garner an independent exchange.
It’s time to teach your child the ropes of everyday living and stop enabling their dependence.
Tip 4: Teach Money Management Skills
Equally important is equipping them with the proper financial skills.
Laura Adams, host of the popular Money Girl podcast, shares practical tips on how to navigate the murky waters of a financially dependent young adult.
Here was the takeaway tip for me:
“I think one of the most important tasks for parents is to begin setting expectations during high school and college. The ‘fall-back’ option for many adult children for moving home after graduation is something they take for granted. Parents who don’t discuss their plans ahead of time must assume some of the blame when a child fails to launch,” notes Laura Adams.
Laura Adams, Host of the Money Girl Podcast
Some of the big items that should be on the table for discussion are:
• Opening and managing a savings/checking account.
• Building credit and proper use of debit/credit cards.
• Creating a budget.
• Getting a handle on student loan debt.
• Having a cell phone plan, auto insurance, and health insurance when they age out of your plan.
• Investment/savings/financial goals for large purchases and retirement.
Who knows? They may be able to take you on a holiday someday!
Tip 5: Own Your Part in Their Failure to Launch
A familiar experience that parents of adult children living at home share is complaining about the situation rather than taking action.
Channel your frustration into a positive action plan. This will benefit your young adult and yourself. None of us want to see our kids floundering, but like it or not, the struggle is a part of life, and so is problem-solving.
Make a date with your child to sit down and review their situation, then come up with a plan. Having a timetable for achieving goals is helpful and motivating, too.
The Happy Ending
While there may be some circumstances beyond your control, once your child learns and uses these skills, you’ll both be able to enjoy their smoother transition into adulthood.
You may also enjoy 7 Special Ways to Build an Unbreakable Mother-Daughter Bond or How To Create a Deep and Loving Mother-Son Bond
How did you help your child leave the nest? For all kinds of mom-centered creative ideas, visit me on Instagram at CanCanMomCB or on Pinterest at theCanCanMom. If you have questions or suggestions, email me at cheryl@cancanmom.com or leave a comment in the box below.
