This Mother's Secret Weapon Will Serve You Well

Same as you, I have changed diapers, soothed crying babies, toilet trained, dealt with huge piles of laundry, tended to tantrums, loaded the dishwasher, and still found ways to keep the peace between siblings—eight in my case.

Overwhelmed, I also spent years searching for a better way to conquer the chaos and exhaustion of raising a large family.

What the heck was I doing wrong? 

When would things change to make everything better?

Ask, and you shall receive. 

Soon after my pleas to the Universe to gift me with some magic wand, I discovered I had overlooked the only solution that would be completely life-changing.

My very own secret weapon—my outlook!

I am blessed to have my brood of eight. Despite the challenges, I finally realized my day-to-day circumstances could be filled with far more joy the minute I let go of thinking motherhood had to be difficult and that a mom had to be perfect. 

In every challenging situation, I have now learned to do four things:

Look for the Joy

For 15 years, I woke up every morning knowing I had to change dirty diapers for multiple babies. It was not an inspiring way to start my day until I concentrated on my children’s enthusiasm with happy gurgling and energetic leg kicking when they first saw me. 

I give my children joy just by walking into the room. Seeing and reveling in that joy as we interacted first thing each morning became truly inspiring. No one else in the world was as overjoyed to see me as my babies so why wish I was anywhere else? 

Look for the Beauty

Keeping a tidy homestead was a small miracle in a home as busy as ours. Always grateful for any and all help, when my seven-year-old daughter attempts to clean her room, I praise her for the job she did. I don’t criticize her about the toys or clothes she didn’t put away.

Then an even more beautiful sight appears—the happiness and satisfaction on her face knowing she helped her mom.

Look (or Listen) for the Truth

“Mom! Mom, you’re not listening to me,” my oldest daughter complained while I stood outside a dressing room holding two armloads of bikinis and cute spring ensembles. 

Nope, I hadn’t heard a single syllable she had uttered; I was too busy contemplating all I needed to get done before heading home to prepare dinner for ten! What a shame I had just robbed myself of some carefree moments to kibitz with my daughter and enjoy the experience of helping her choose bathing suits, shorts, and tees. All she wanted was to share about her complicated seventeen-year-old lifestyle. Worse, she had called me on it! 

Apologizing for my mistake, I learned pre-calculous and driving my minivan was sending her to her breaking point. Yet she was eager to shift gears and excitedly chat about her plans for her senior year. I salvaged our outing and made listening to my kids a priority.

Start a “Get-To-Do” List

The subconscious notation of “getting” to do something rather than “having” to do something is a game-changer. 

Once I realized I “get” to make dinner for the family I always dreamed of having, and I “get” to carpool my kids to their activities to see them happy and following their passions, I started to feel privileged instead of frazzled.

Changing your attitude changes everything.

This Mother’s Secret Outlook Weapon will indeed serve you well!