When I Learned To Be Present, My Family Grew Strong
Moms are usually busy planning items on their “To-Do” Lists, but then they miss bonding moments. When I learned to live in the present, my family grew strong.
Being Totally Present
“Mom! Mom, you’re not listening to me,” my daughter complained while I stood outside the dressing room holding two armloads of cute spring ensembles that, in total, held less fabric than the single outfit I was wearing at that moment. Oh, the agony of fashion shopping with a teen girl!
Nope, I hadn’t heard a single syllable she uttered. Still, it wasn’t because I wasn’t interested in learning more about why pre-calculus ruined her life or how learning to drive in my minivan might leave her with permanent emotional scars. I was just too busy contemplating what I should make for dinner and daydreaming about which decade it was that I actually enjoyed trying on a bathing suit that didn’t have built-in support or a skirt attached.
Missed Opportunity
What a shame I had just robbed myself of fifteen carefree moments to kibitz with my daughter and simply enjoy the experience of helping her choose two-piece bathing suits, all while she opened up about her complicated seventeen-year-old lifestyle. Worse, she called me on it!
Time To Change My Ways
Clearly, it was time for me to get on board with today’s self-help gurus and stop being so distracted by life instead of living in the moment.
I did a little research and found that living in the moment means you are totally immersed in an experience and, therefore, should reap far more happiness from your everyday life. Sign me up!
In order not to miss out on important bonding moments like I did when my daughter asked me if I preferred tassels or fringe on those cute shorts she was trying on, I decided I would try to live in the second, never mind the moment, as often as I could.
I turned in early that night so that I would be well-rested and full of vim and vigor for my first full-fledged day of “Living in the Moment.” The alarm went off at precisely 5:45 am.
My plan at breakfast: instead of shuffling through six boxes of cereal, I decide I would stop, look lovingly into all my children’s half-opened eyes, and ask them how they slept. Then ask if they would like to have cereal or something hot and delicious.
Bus departures begin at 6:40 am in our neighborhood. Instead of loudly announcing, “The bus just went down the street,” to my high schoolers, I gently tapped their bedroom doors and quietly let them know. I just relished the harried moments I observed as they snatched backpacks, iPhones, and hoodies and treasured the snarky comments they made under their breath—something I usually do from three rooms away. Ah, soaking in the moment—what a beautiful thing!
The rest of the day unfolded with much of the same. I tried to be alert in nearly every waking moment.
Be Present as Often as Possible
Most days, my mindset will still be crazed and usually one step ahead of where I am presently standing. But if I try to be more present during those “dressing room” instances with my daughter and the rest of my family, then I will certainly be living more in the motherhood moment.
I think every child deserves at least that.
