Win The Bedtime Battle With These 6 Easy Steps

Don’t lose sleep over bedtime hassles. These six easy tips can help you end dreaded bedtime battles and instead wind down the day with a relaxing routine.

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Bedtime Sleep Facts

First you need to know:

How much sleep does your child need?

In 2015, the National Sleep Foundation gathered a panel of 18 experts to update its sleep duration recommendations. They offered some guidelines for how many hours of sleep children and adults in different age groups generally need. For “healthy individuals with normal sleep,” here’s what they suggested:

•        Newborns: 14-17 hours

•        Infants: 12-15 hours

•        Toddlers: 11-14 hours

•        Preschoolers: 10-13 hours

•        Elementary-school-aged: 9-11 hours

•        Teenagers: 8-10 hours

•        Young adults: 7-9 hours

•        Older adults: 7-8 hours

We’d all like our family members to benefit from the right amount of healthy sleep so…

Tip 1: Prepare a Solid Bedtime Routine

One of my favorite parenting words (other than a nap) is routine! Without question, my sanity and my family’s overall well-being would not be as strong if not for creating structure in our busy lives.

A solid bedtime routine helps your children wind down and also lays the foundation for a positive start the next morning.

•        Start by deciding what time your child will hit the hay and work backward. If 9 pm is bedtime and prep takes 30 minutes, then make sure you kick off the bedtime routine at 8:30 pm every night.

•        Less is more! A short routine works better than letting bedtime prep drag on.

Look for some good bedtime story suggestions in CanCan Mom’s Book Recommendations.

If you want your bedtime routine to be a success, you must be consistent. There will be evenings when you don’t feel like sticking to your plan, but staying the course is even more critical when you lack motivation. Patterns work for a reason—because repetition and structure are comforting, and we can expect the same results most of the time. And once your child learns you won’t waver from the evening schedule, he’ll be less apt to challenge it. 

Tip 2: Get Your Child an Alarm Clock

I credit my mom for this engaging idea. It will get your kids excited about sleeping and waking up.

Once my siblings and I were in kindergarten and had to wake up for school each day, she got us our own alarm clocks. We learned to set them with practice and turn them off—a part of our evening and morning routines. We all felt so proud to manage our alarms so we wouldn’t be late for school. It also helped us know when it was time to go to bed.

Today’s parents can choose from a wide variety of clocks known as sleep trainers. Like an alarm clock, this is a toddler-friendly way to let young kids know if it’s okay to get out of bed using colors, facial expressions, and different sounds.

Of course, most of today’s youth have cell phones, all of which have alarm clocks. But there’s something so old-fashioned about an alarm clock set and placed across the room. When it rings, your child can’t hit snooze because they have to get up and out of bed to shut it off.

Tip 3: Create a Bedtime Pass

Creating a Bedtime Pass might do the trick if you’re looking for a creative solution to help you win the goodnight struggle. This clever idea allows a child access for one post-bedtime trip out of his room. The catch is that the child must have a specific purpose, such as a visit to the bathroom, needing a drink of water, or a hug from mom or dad. And he’s only allowed one Pass a night, no exceptions.

Have fun creating Bedtime Passes with your children. It will help them understand their bedtime routine better—and that they have a way to solve a need without any trouble.

The idea of a Bedtime Pass stems from a study published in the October 1999 Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine issue. Patrick Friman, one of the study’s authors, said that it’s unclear why the strategy works, but there are three possible explanations:

1.      A child saving the valuable pass may simply fall asleep waiting to use it.

2.      The presence of the pass could offer a sense of security.

3.      Having access to a once-forbidden want (a trip out of bed when it’s past bedtime) makes it lose its appeal.

Simply brilliant!

Tip 4: Be Mindful of Diet, Exercise, and Daily Quiet Time

Be aware of what your child eats in the hours leading up to bedtime. A study in adults showed that meals lower in saturated fat and higher in protein help people fall asleep faster. Higher fiber intake was also associated with getting better deep sleep.

On the other hand, sugar was linked to more middle-of-the-night wakeups. Staying away from sugary snacks and highly processed foods is a good idea in general, but it turns out it also plays an important role in sleep!

Multiple studies have found that regular exercise correlates with better sleep.

Keep an eye on how much physical activity your child gets throughout the day. Multiple studies have found that regular exercise correlates with better sleep. Let your child burn off some energy in the afternoon or before dinner. Bonus points if that activity happens outside so your child is exposed to natural sunlight, which helps with regulating his circadian rhythm, the natural process that helps control our sleep-wake cycles.

Quiet time to wind down before sleep is also important. Help your child get into the habit of relaxing quietly in the evening before she begins her bedtime routine. She might chill out with a book, spend time coloring, or get lost in thought. Make sure the activity isn’t too stimulating—the goal is to help her brain ease into switching off for the night.

Tip 5: Learn the Signs of an Overtired Child

Overtired kids can be a challenge at bedtime. Rather than wind down, overtired children tend to bounce off the walls, only adding to your frustration. The best time for a child to fall asleep is just when she’s getting drowsy, recommends pediatrician Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He’s a sleep expert, father of four, and author of one of my favorite books, Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child.

Overtired children will show symptoms like:

•        Problems regulating their emotions

•        Finding it hard to concentrate

•        Irritability

•        Fatigue and daytime tiredness

If your child is consistently overtired by bedtime, it may be time to make adjustments. Maybe bedtime needs to come earlier. Or maybe you need to adjust your child’s daytime nap schedule. Also pay attention to things that could be making it difficult for your child to wind down. Maybe your teen’s pre-bedtime video game session is making it hard for her to make the transition to sleep. Move that play session to an earlier time to create a buffer between gaming and lights out.

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IMPORTANT! If your child often has difficulty getting to sleep or you suspect he may have a sleep disorder, consult your pediatrician.

Tip 6: Opt Out of the Battle

Above all, you must mean what you say and be consistent with enforcing your bedtime routine. Remember that new habits don’t develop overnight (no pun intended!), and you’re going to have to commit to making it work. Be consistent and non-emotional as you retrain your child to accept his new bedtime experience. Soon, these battles will be a thing of the past.

Change Routines When Needed

Once you develop a solid bedtime routine that works for your family, don’t be afraid to revisit how it’s working and tweak things as needed.

As school schedules or seasons change or when a new baby is added to the mix, take some time to re-evaluate your routines and freshen them up so they continue to work best for you and your family.

Did these tips help? How do you settle down your evenings to ensure a good night’s sleep? Share your thoughts in the comments section below, or you can email me at cheryl@cancanmom.com.